Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Warning Labels

Condoms should carry more than your standard label. There should be a short novella about parenting attached to those suckers.

"Protects against STD's and Pregnancy. Pregnancy leads to parenthood. Parenthood could cause considerable weight gain/loss, loss of sleep, strange appetites, zombie like appearance, road rage, anxiety, depression, incontinence, disruption of what you consider normal. Please use wisely."

If we did this, we wouldn't have to lie to poor young women when they actually are pregnant and say things like...
"Oh, the joys of motherhood!"
"Just wait until you hold that bundle of joy!"
"You're whole life is just going to get richer!"

Truly, it's about the joys and STRUGGLES of motherhood. And seriously, holding that squirming, sometimes screaming, red-faced and forever pooping bundle of joy is terrifying. Your life will be richer, but the bank account is going to drain into nothingness and then redline each month. Each and Every Month.

Are you wondering if I'm bitter, yet?

I'm not. I'm so in love with the three children that I have. And my life is richer and motherhood has many joys. But to be honest, how many mothers/parents are out there struggling from day to day through the hard parts and wondering if they're doing it all wrong? How many people are out there that can't admit sometimes parenting is downright joyless and hard and not at all rewarding? Why can't we admit it? Because of parenting magazines and books. Because of shows on tv that show a snippet of some wonderful parenting technique and how well they work.

As parents, we are surrounded with the belief that if we aren't perfect, we're ruining our children. We are a generation of gullible fools that buy all the guilt inducing bullshit that makes us feel like less of a parent. Okay, at least I am. And a lot of other "in the closet" miserable parents are saying the same.

So, join in and have a good time. This is a guilt free zone. I promise...no parenting books allowed


  1. Sounds good Kristi! and I agree about the condom labels.

  2. You forgot to add: pregnancy leads to loss of sexual desire, hense the lack of need for this product.

    I'm not a new parent - I'm a rather old-feeling one at the moment. I'm looking forward to the empty nest syndrome in about seven years when the last one grows up.

    Love my kids, but . .

    Parenting books can be a God send, but yes, they do paint an altruistic picture of parenthood. Especially those rainy day, togetherness activities that get started at the local craft store.

    Good luck with this place Kristi. Sounds fun.


  3. Howdy Kristi! Fancy meeting you here. I just had to laugh at the condom warning label.

  4. Angelia: :0) My BFF read before I posted and she almost fell over. I felt better about starting this.

    Donna: I hope I make it as long as you have. LOL I tease my oldest that she may never make it to the ripe old age of 15.

    Maxine: Thank you! And congrats on your newest bundle on its way. :0)

  5. Ummm, is there something you forgot to tell me? About the newest bundle on its way??? There is also the story of the little girl who was crying and when asked what was the matter she replied "my mommy threw away all the parenting books and bought a paddle"...Of course as me not being a writer, just another mother of the mother writer that I am not! And btw, I am an old parent and I think this is slightly cohesive. And I was horrible in english and always got in trouble with runon sentences that run on and on;)

  6. Mother! Read carefully love, I was congratulating Maxine on her bundle that is on the way. :0) I'm DONE! And I believe I got my writing skills from you, and the run on sentences. :0)


Hi! I love meeting new parents, so make my day and leave me a comment with real words that go together in a slightly cohesive manner and I'll definitely respond!!