Do you remember this fun game?
"I'll never tell my child something as stupid as this hurts me more than it hurts you."
"I'll never spank my kids."
"I'll never let my child go to bed without dinner."
"I'll never ground my kids."
The first time I spanked my daughter, I cried. Literally. I walked out of the bedroom and cried. Despite the fact that previous to the spanking I had used every other possible parenting technique and she had so quietly, stubbornly and kindly refused to do as I had asked for over an hour and my head was trying to detach itself from my neck, I cried like a freakin' baby. My daughter? Sat on her bed and continued to not clean her room.
Obviously-I've spanked my kids. See previous story. Honestly, I don't spank my kids as often as I have thought of spanking my kids. I truly die a little bit inside. No matter how much of an asshole they were.
When you have a kid that goes from eating everything to eating nothing, you worry. Like all things in parenthood. Another worry. So you take little angel child to the doctor. Angel child is just fine, being stubborn. Encourage blah blah blah. You notice angel child is manipulating your worrying into eating whatever the hell the little brat wants. Now it's time to put your foot down. Go to bed without dinner.
My 10 year old princess is possibly grounded for the rest of her natural life. If it's a short life. Seriously. 10?? With the stubborn ness of a bull bred donkey. Yeah, kind of gross-but she is honestly stubborn. And here's the really frustrating thing. She's sneaky about it. She acts as if she's perfect and done everything that you've asked her to do and school is great and homework is done and ...... it's all a lie. And yes...apparently I did this all the time to my mother.
The thing is that we as parents are doing what we can at the time whatever mini crisis hits. Sometimes it's really hard to see flaws in our children, especially when they are a lot like our own. Ya know? My advice is to forget all the "I nevers" and keep doing your best. Yes, I think time-outs are great-not for my son. They work for about ten minutes after the fact, if I'm lucky. It seemed to work well for my girls. Not much anymore. Now it's on to losing privileges and being ... you guessed it...grounded.
What are your "I'll nevers" and have you kept to them or found out differently?