Where I lose my mind....

First of all; my apologies. I haven't posted .... at all. This is my red-headed step child of a blog. :) And I was without internet access and a computer for quite a while.

But tonight's post is really about my 12 year old. Rhiannon. This will sound odd, but she has always been my most laid back, stubborn child. And I say that because she doesn't argue with you. She doesn't throw a tantrum or pout or even huff and puff. By all appearances, she's listening to the rules you set down, she's nodding and agreeing with the chores you ask her to do. Then she goes off and while you assume she's doing as she has been told like a good little girl; she's doing whatever the hell she wants. This could include putting mounds of very expensive lotion into a sink full of water then adding a little mouthwash...to see what would happen. Or any other number of shenanigans.

This has been the battle since she hit...oh 4 years I would say. She was my baby that slept through the night, and through any amount of noise for a minimum of 12 hours beginning at the age of 10 months. She LOVES sleep still. Sleep does not a good child make. Trust me on this one.

So tonight's problem was the cherry on top of an incredibly long week. I came home from my second shift at work to my husband sitting in his chair staring down Rhiannon, who was sitting on the couch. First clue that shit had hit the fan.

To my raised eyebrows, my husband says; "You and I need to address an issue with Rhiannon that's very important and I just don't know what to do about."

Sooo many expletives went through my mind.  "Alright, what's going on?"

"Well, besides the fact that she's had her head somewhere other than here all day, Kayla just came to me with this cup," he holds it out for me to see. "This is her concoction of what she says is Juniper Tea. It's shit from the front yard." He peers into the cup more closely. "And possibly your very expensive mineral make up...smells funny."

I try really hard not to blow up at the fact that my $60 purchase of really good makeup (first time since I was 18 that I buy really good makeup) is in the bottom of a plastic cup along with 'shit' from the front yard.

Rhiannon finally speaks, "It's not! There's not makeup in there."

I notice she doesn't offer what IS in there. "So what is it?"

"...." she mumbles.

"What?" I almost scream.

"Hershey's dark cocoa, Thyme and Juniper."

I'm half tempted to make her drink it. But instead we go into this long, little bit heated discussion about the consequences of her thinking she knows what the hell thyme and juniper is in the first place; the possibilities she didn't think of...stomach ache, allergic reactions, the three year old getting it, etc...

I grounded her for her entire spring break. And not just any grounded. But she has to sit on our "naughty bench" until her dad needs her help with housework, caring for and entertaining the 3 year old or whatever. All day. Just so we know exactly what she's doing and when.

This is going to be a long freakin' 7 days. Which reminds me of how my mother would always tell me that she was punishing herself more than me when I was grounded.

What was I thinking????

So...any insight? My husband is about to lose his mind. He's disabled and can't get up as often as raising children really requires. I'm too poor for daycare. I'm tempted to drop them all off at a shelter. (kidding...slightly.) (no, I'm really kidding) (seriously...I'm kidding)
........ Yes...I will look back on this and laugh one day, right?

To be continued???